During the pandemic, whether in my work with clients or discussions in my personal life, there is one theme which stands out as the most universal: the blurring together of time, memory, roles, and activities that results from Stay-At-Home and Work-From-Home. The stultifying sameness which we experience, somewhat paradoxically, during this unique and unprecedented era. Every week, every day, every hour, and every minute starts to feel less distinct, a blur with no clear start or end. In a visceral way we start to lose time. Simultaneously some part of us rebels against this, either consciously or unconsciously. Whether it be through schedules and rituals, through novel actions, through purchases, through journaling, or sheer force of will. We attempt to create mental landmarks that give us back a sense of time, a sense of change, a sense of shifting roles, a sense of movement. In many ways that is the struggle that defines the quarantine era, especially for those that find themselves always at home or at least in their neighborhood.
I feel that either we lack a great vocabulary or idioms to name this concept or else I have somehow missed out on learning the right term for it. The first words that came to my mind to describe this elusive topic is Marking Time. However in it’s most common usage the phrase “marking time” actually means the opposite of what I wish to describe. Free Dictionary says this idiom means “To idly wait; to do nothing except observe the passage of time”.
Turning my search to the Demarcation of Time yielded much better results. First I was reminded that the desire to make time discrete and knowable has been one of the defining traits of nearly all civilizations. The construction of all manner of clocks and calendars and the human rituals they govern falls just short of language and maybe mathematical systems in terms of foundational human conceptual achievements. Certainly I’d put them above currency: time can be traded much more readily for money than the reverse. I also came across several good articles on one important aspect of this endeavor: the separation of work life from home life that is the centerpiece of “work-life balance”.
Before I settled on the title of this post there was one other term I wanted to investigate although I already expected it would be a dead end: Making Time. Overwhelmingly what we mean by “making time” in our time-starved age is to rush, squeeze, or eliminate other things in order to squeeze in one more task or activity, one more responsibility. The task of juggling childcare and work from home is a great example of the extremes of Making Time. And aside from the stultification of sameness it is this frantic layering and multi-tasking that is making it harder for many people to grasp and feel time in this pandemic.
There is no one right way of Creating Time that works for everyone. For one person a daily ritual might help create transitions that serve as a powerful reference point, a mental map of the day. For others those same rituals might reinforce sameness and repetition, creating a Groundhog Day effect. For still others those same rituals, while desired for a sense of nostalgia or normalcy, might be too exhausting or time consuming to maintain under radically different circumstances. But I believe that for everyone there is a path forward towards a more vital experience of time. And that path should start with reflection and self honesty. Open up to others about this desire and you will start to build a time for yourself.